There are many things that I can think of when it comes to giving someone or something access to a place, a person, or a thing. But when it comes to heart matters, this is a challenging topic for a lot of people. To allow someone access to you as a person means there is a level of trust that has been established. Then there are times where you can trust a person and know that they have your best interest at heart, but you only allow them to come but so far. There could be various reasons for this: hurts from past relationships, rejection, bitterness, unforgiveness, or even low self-esteem. After being hurt so much, how can a person trust again? If I don’t love myself, how can I believe that someone loves me?
I remember being wounded from past relationships. It seems like every time I tried; I ended up getting hurt all over again. I can look back now and see that I made certain choices because I did not want to be alone. When you make decisions because you are afraid of being alone, you begin to settle. You lose who you are to have something that you think is good for you. After a while, you become bitter because things don’t work out the way you hoped they would. Each time you experience hurt, another brick is added to the wall built around you. After a while, you become tired, and before you know it, there is a wall that separates you from everyone else. This wall denies access to you. While it seems that you are just protecting yourself from being hurt, you also deny yourself from the people and things that could potentially help you heal, restore you, and make you strong.
As mentioned before, I experienced relationships that have caused great pain, and I allowed a wall to be built around me. When I started dating my husband, he was different from what I was used to. He was respectful and considerate of my children and me. As I got to know him, I could tell that he was a good man with a heart of gold. I came to the realization that my thinking had to change. I learned that not all men cheat. I realized there are men in the world that stand by their word. My husband was patient with me during the process. Marriage is a beautiful thing when you have two people that are determined to work at it. Most of all, marriage is a beautiful thing when God is the center because this is how you get through the rough times God, determination, and work. Are you allowing God to be the center of your relationships or friendships? What happens when you allow God to be the center? It means that God is the go-to person. When disagreements occur, or you experience feelings of disappointments and frustration; you talk to God, not Facebook. Making God the center means you allow Him to show you how to love, He gives you the words to respond with, or you allow His Word to be the final say when a disagreement arises.
Healing from my past hurts had to take place to live in the present and move towards my future. Allow God to heal you from the hurt and trauma that you have experienced. Allow the walls that have been built to be torn down. God is the only one that can do this. Psalms 147:3 says, “He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.” God can take the very thing that you felt crushed you and make it a testimony of how you are an overcomer. Romans 8:28 says, “And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.” Don’t allow past traumas or hurts to hold you back any longer. Allow God to complete total healing in your life so that you can unapologetically live a victorious life. Once the walls are torn down, trust, and believe that God will send the right people in your path. Allow God to give you discernment so that you can say access granted when the right people come into your life.